THE EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN [ WOMEN'S STATUS ]

THE EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN 

When the companion of the Prophet (SAW) entered a town to bring them the message of Islam, he put it very beautifully. He said, "I have come to free you from the servitude of the slave and bring you to the servitude of the Lord of the slave."

Within this statement lies a powerful treasure. Locked within these words, is the key to empowerment and the only real part to liberation.

You see, the moment you or I allow anything, other than our Creator, to define our success, our failure, our happiness, or our worth, we have entered into a silent, but destructive form of slavery. That thing which defines myself-worth, my success and my failure is what controls me. And it becomes my Master.

The master who has defined a woman's worth, has taken many forms throughout time. One of the most prevalent standards made for woman, has been the standard of men. But we so often forget is that God has honored the woman by giving her value in relation to Himself---not in relation to men. Yet, as western feminism erased God from the scene, there was no standard left---but men. As a result the western feminist was forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing she had accepted a faulty assumption. She had accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man: the standard.

When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the "standard" had them.

What she didn't recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness-not in their sameness. When we accept men as the standard, suddenly anything uniquely feminine becomes by definition inferior. Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a full-time mother---a degradation. In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and selfless compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigned supreme.

As soon as we accepted that everything a man has and does is better, all that followed was just a knee-jerk reaction: if men have it---we want it too. If men pray in the front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in the front rows too. If men lead prayer, we assume the imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too. Somewhere along the line we'd accepted the notion that having a position of worldly leadership is some indication of one's position with God.

But a Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God as the standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn't need a man to do this.

Give our privilege as women, we only degrade ourselves by trying to be something we're not-and in all honesty-don't want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctness.

And yet, in society, there is another prevalent "master" which has defined for women their worth. And that is the so-called standard of beauty. Since the time we were little, we as women, have been taught a very clear message by society. And that message is: "Be thin. Be sexy. Be attractive. Or... be nothing."

So we were told you to put on their make-up and wear their short skirts. Instructed to give our lives, our bodies, and our dignity for the cause of being pretty. We came to believe that no matter what we did, we were worthy only to the degree that we could please and be beautiful for men. So we spent our lives on the cover of Cosmo and we gave our bodies for advertisers to sell.

We were slaves, but they taught us we were free. We were their object, but their swore it was success. Because they taught you that the purpose of your life was to be on display, to attract and be beautiful for men. They had you believe that your body was created to market their cars.

But they lied.

Your body, your soul was created for something higher. Something so much higher.

God says in the Quran: "Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of God is the one who is most righteous." (Qur'an, 49:13)

So you are honored. But it is not by your relationship to men---either being them, or pleasing them. Your value as a woman is not measured by the size of your waist or the number of men who like you. Your worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and piety. And your purpose in life-despite what the fashion magazines say-is something more sublime than just looking good for men.

Our completion come from God and our relationship with Him. And yet, from the time we were little, we, as women, have been taught that we will never reach a completion until a man comes to complete us. Like Cinderella we were taught that we are helpless unless a prince comes to save us. Like Sleeping Beauty, we were told that our life doesn't fully begin, until Prince Charming kisses us. But here's the thing: no prince can complete you. And no knight can save you. Only God can.

Your prince is only a human being. God may send him to be your companion---but not your savior. The coolness of your eyes---not the air in your lungs. Your air is in God. Your salvation and completion are in His nearness---not the nearness to any created thing. Not the nearness to a prince, not the nearness to fashion or beauty or style.

And so I ask you to unlearn. I ask you to stand up and tell the world that you are a slave to nothing---not to fashion, not to beauty, not to men. You are a slave to God and God alone. I ask you to tell the world that you're not here to please men with your body; You're here to please God. So to those who mean well and wish to 'liberate' you, just smile and say: "Thanks, but no thanks."

Tell them you're not here to be on display. And your body is not for public consumption. Make sure the world knows that you will never be reduced to an object, or a pair of legs to sell shoes. You are a soul, a mind, a servant of God. And your worth is defined by the beauty of that soul, that heart, that moral character. So, you don't worship their beauty standards; you don't submit to their fashion sense. Your submission is to something higher.

Therefore, in answering the question of where and how a woman can find empowerment, I find myself led back to the statement of our Prophet's (SAW) companion. I find myself led back to the realization that true liberation and empowerment lies only in freeing oneself from all other masters, all other definitions. All other standards.

As Muslim women, we have been liberated from this silent bondage. We don't need society's standard of beauty or fashion, to define our worth. We don't need to become just like men to be honored, and we don't need to wait for a prince to save or complete us. Our worth, our honor, our salvation, and our completion lie not in the slave.

But, in the Lord of the slave.

N / F : FROM 'RECLAIM YOUR HEART', BY YASMIN MOGAHED.

RABIATUL ADAWIYAH [ BAB 25 - HASSAN AL-BASRI ]

HASSAN AL-BASRI

Selepas banyaknya penolakan peminangan oleh Rabiah pada lelaki yang mahu menjadikannya isteri, kini tiada lagi yang berani masuk meminang. Ini kerana mereka sedar yang tindakan itu hanya sia-sia, malah mengaibkan diri sendiri.

     "Sekiranya lamaran sultan dan raja pun Rabiah tolak, apatah lagi kita," kata seseorang ketika sedang berborak sesama mereka.

     "Bukan itu sahaja, ulama yang sealim dan zuhud seperti Abdul Wahid bin Zaid pun kecundang," tambah rakannya pula.

    "Memang Rabiah seorang wanita yang sangat teguh prinsipnya, seteguh gunung-ganang, setegas matahari yang memancarkan sinar di padang pasir," kata kawannya yang lain pula.

     Pada suatu hari, berlangsung muktamar yang dihadiri oleh ramai ulama yang alim lagi zuhud. Rabiah tidak ketinggalan menyertainya. Semasa dia duduk di suatu sudut, datang seorang ulama besar menyapa dan berbincang dengannya.

     Ulama itu adalah Hasran al-Basri. Selepas melabuhkan diri dan bersila, dia lantas mengajukan persoalan kepada Rabiah. "Wahai Rabiah, adakah kamu akan bernikah?"

     Selepas kata-kata Hasan al-Basri menjengah gegendang telinga Rabiah, dia terkejut. Ada riak kemarahan pada wajahnya. Mungkin kerana tidak menyangka yang bertanya kepadanya adalah Hasan al-Basri, yang juga sudah mengisytiharkan dirinya tidak akan berkahwin.

     Namun Rabiah cepat-cepat sedar yang Hasan al-Basri mungkin mahu mengujinya. Dengan lembut dia menjawab, "Nikah itu menjadi kepentingan bagi orang yang mendambakannya, sedangkan saya tidak punya pilihan lagi kerana pilihan saya, dengan nazar yang dibuat, saya tidak akan berkahwin hingga ke akhir hayat. Saya membuat keputusan mahu menghabiskan masa saya hanya untuk Allah. Saya bertekad mahu hanya bernaung hanya di bawah perintah-Nya."

     Terlukis jelas pada wajah Hasan al-Basri berkenaan kekagumannya pada Rabiah. Hasan al-Basri semakin teruja mahu bertanya.

     "Wahai Rabiah, apakah cara yang kamu lakukan bagi mencapai martabat yang setinggi ini?"

     Belum pun sempat dijawab Rabiah, soalan kedua terus sahaja menyusul.

     "Bagaimanakah pula kamu mampu mencapai makam yang mana setiap tindakanmu adalah ketentuan daripada Allah?"

     Juga tidak sempat dijawab, Hasan al-Basri terus dengan soalan ketiga.

     "Apakah caranya kamu mencapai kedudukan yang menggambarkan yang setiap tindakan dan kelakuanmu adalah berdasarkan bisikan ilham daripada Allah?"

     Rabiah hanya tertunduk bisu. Selepas mendapati Hasan al-Basri sudah menghabiskan persoalannya barulah Rabiah bersuara.

     "Semua persoalan itu akan terjawab apabila kita sebagai hamba Allah berjaya memerangi nafsu malah menaklukinya."

     Hasan al-Basri kagum dan terharu. "Alangkah bertuahnya Rabiah kerana mendapat semua itu, alangkah malangnya lagi kami ini yang masih amat jauh bagi mencapai makam itu."

     Mereka yang mendengar perbincangan itu juga terduduk diam kerana bermuhasabah.

     Kemudian Hasan al-Basri bertanya lagi, kali ini dengan lebih mendalam. "Wahai Rabiah, tahukah kamu apa sebabnya kami semua belum menakluki makam itu?"

     Dengan soalan ini, jelas menunjukkan yang Hasan al-Basri merasakan dirinya jauh di belakang Rabiah. Namun dia tidak malu mengaku.

     Seperti sebelumnya, belum sempat Rabiah menjawab, soalan kedua pula menjengah.

     "Ceritakanlah kisah-kisah saudari semasa ilham menjadi pendorong tindakan saudari?"

     Selepas mendapati Hasan al-Basri sudah bersedia mendengar jawapannya, barulah Rabiah memulakan bicara, "Pernah terjadi, saya sudah ke pasar dengan membawa dua ikat tali yang setiap satunya berharga dua miskal emas. Kedua-dua tali itu saya mahu jual bagi membeli makanan. Hanya satu daripada tali itu yang saya pegang dengan kedua-dua belah tangan, kerana khuatir sekiranya dipegang kedua-duanya, saya pasti tersesat daripada jalan yang lurus."

     Sekali lagi Hasan al-Basri terpana dengan jawapan Rabiah yang begitu mendalam maknanya itu lantas menyebabkan Hasan al-Basri menumpahkan lebih banyak air mata, tanpa dihiraukan hadirin yang berada di sekelilingnya.

     Dalam getar suara dia berkata, "Andai kata di syurga kelak, saya ditakdirkan jauh daripada wajah Allah walaupun hanya sehela nafas nescaya saya menangis sehingga dikasihani."

     Rabiah yang memahami maksud Hasan al-Basri pula menjawab dengan hikmah. "Ingatlah, orang yang zuhud lagi abid sentiasa mengingati Allah dalam suka dan duka, dalam sedar mahupun tidak, dalam ratap dan juga tangis supaya di akhirat kelak ia menjadi bukti bagi mendapatkan balasan yang sudah tersedia."

     Berdasarkan hujah-hujah inilah dikatakan yang Rabiah dan Hasan al-Basri bukanlah manusia biasa, bahkan adalah wali-wali Allah yang terpilih. Adapun nabi ataupun rasul itu semestinnya seorang lelaki, namun wali Allah itu boleh terdiri daripada lelaki ataupun perempuan.

     Pernah juga berlaku kepada Rabiah, seseorang datang bagi berdialog dengannya.

     Selepas dapat bertemu dengan Rabiah, pemuda itu lantas bertanya, "Wahai Rabiatul Adawiyah, apakah sebabnya kamu menghindari pernikahan?"

     Pemuda itu mungkin mahu menguji Rabiah, ataupun mungkin juga ada niat tersirat di hatinya.

     Rabiah menjawab dengan penuh berhikmah kerana dia sedar sekiranya dijawab dengan jawapan yang lemah, pasti dirinya menjadi bualan.

     "Saya akan berkahwin juga."

     "Benarkah?"

     "Benar, sekiranya mereka yang mahu mengahwini saya itu mampu mencari jalan bagi mengeluarkan, menyelamat dan mengubati saya daripada tiga kerisauan dan dukacita yang sedang saya hadapi."

     Pemuda itu kelihatan teruja kerana sangkanya umpan sudah mengena.

     "Sekiranya begitu, khabarkan."

    Rabiah diam seketika sambil matanya terpejam. Dengan perlahan-lahan dia mengangkat mukanya seraya membuka mata dan berkata, "Pertama, saat malaikat maut mencabut nyawa yang tunggal ini, apakah dirinya dapat menjamin saya menghadap Allah dengan keimanan yang sempurna?"

     Pemuda itu terkedu dan mulutnya terkunci rapat. Melihatkan pemuda itu tidak bersuara, Rabiah meneruskan perbicaraannya. "Kedua, sejurus berada di padang mahsyar, dapatkah dirinya memastikan saya menerima buku amalan sepanjang kehidupan dengan tangan kanan?"

     Sekali lagi tiada jawapan daripada pemuda itu. Hanya bunyi tiupan angin di padang pasir sahaja yang menerobos ke gegendang telinga mereka.

     Kemudian Rabiah menyambung lagi kata-katanya. "Yang ketiganya adalah, selepas hisab di padang mahsyar, golongan yang soleh akan dimasukkan ke dalam syurga manakala golongan yang kufur dihumban ke dalam neraka. Apakah dia dapat menjamin saya berada di syurga?"

     Pemuda itu menjawab lemah, "Ternyata hanya kamu dan Allah yang mengerti apa yang kamu lakukan."

     Dia kemudian memalingkan diri bagi berlalu pergi dalam kekecewaan dan hitungan yang berat.

     Kebetulan pada waktu itu ramai hadirin yang berada di rumah Rabiah mendengar perbualan itu. Mereka kemudian berkata kepada Rabiah, "Wahai guru, apakah maksud perbualan tadi? Sesungguhnya kami yang cetek ilmu ini tidak mengerti."

     Rabiah tersenyum lalu berkata, "Sahabat sekalian, hidup saya sentiasa dihiasi rasa takut kepada hal-hal akhirat. Apakah perlunya lagi suami, kerana bersuami itu pasti mengehadkan masa saya dengan Allah. Itulah adalah kerugian yag tidak mampu saya laburkan."

N / F : DIPETIK DARIPADA BUKU SRIKANDI SRIKANDI YANG BENAR, OLEH ZAHIRUDDIN ZABIDI.

THIS IS AWAKENING [ RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CREATOR ]

THIS IS AWAKENING

It's hard to describe the feeling. Imagine living your entire life in a cave and believing it was you whole world. Then suddenly you step outside. For the first time in you life, you see the sky. You see the trees and the birds and the sun. For the first time in your life, you realize that the world you once knew was false. For the first time, you discover a Truer, the more beautiful Reality. Imagine the high of that realization. For a moment, you feel you can do anything. Suddenly, nothing from your previous life in the cave matters. You become empowered, fully alive, fully aware for the very first time. It is an unexplainable feeling. This is the spiritual high that comes with newly discovered Truth.

This is Awakening.

A convert to Islam knows this feeling. A born Muslim who comes back to the deen knows this feeling. Any human being, who lives their life away from God, and returns, knows this feeling. This state is what Ibn ul Qayyim (RA) calls 'yaqatha' (awakening) in his book 'Madarij Al Salikeen' (Stations on the Path to God). He describes this state as the first station on the path to Allah. This is the state sometimes referred to as the "convert zeal". When a person first converts or starts coming back to Allah they are often full of motivation and energy that others do not have. The reason for this energy is the spiritual high, characteristics of this state.

Characteristic of the Station of Awakening:

Allah makes worship earsier- While in this states, worship becomes much easier. A person is so driven and motivated that they may easily sacrifice everything for the sake of the new reality they have discovered. This zeal can take a person from 0 to 60 in not time. It's like being on spiritual steroids. The strength you have is not from your own self, but from an aid that was given to you. In this case the aid is given by God. Some may advise not changing too much, too fast. I don't think fast change is the problem. I think arrogance is. I think hopelessness is. If Allah gives you a gift whereby you are able to do more, use it. But thank Him---not yourself, for that ability. And know that the heightened state is temporary. You may go from 0 to 60 in a very short time due to it, but when the high passes, don't lose hope and let yourself slip back to 0.

Temporary- Like every state in this life, this state is temporary. Life is never linear. And neither is the path to God. Not realizing this can cause despair and hopelessness once it passes.

Pitfalls of This State:

The 2 pitfalls associated with this state correspond to not understanding the characteristics of the state listed above. These pitfalls are also the 2 causes the stagnation on the path to God: arrogance/complacency and hopelessness. The arrogant person already feels they are good enough, so they stop striving. The hopeless person believes that they will never be good enough, so they stop striving. Two opposite maladies, leading to the same result: To stop moving on the path to God.

Arrogance- The first pitfall correspond to not understanding that the increase ability to worship came from God and is a characteristic of the state---not the individual! The one who doesn't understand this wrongfully attributes the heightened ability to worship one's own righteousness. This false attribution is very dangerous because it leads to arrogance and self-righteousness. Rather than realizing this heightened 'religious state' is a gift from God, the worshiper feels a sense of hidden pride and may look down on others who don't share similar zeal.

Despair and Hopelessness- This pitfall correspond to not understanding that like all states in life, this spiritual high is temporary. This does not mean you have failed nor done something wrong! Most people know what it feels like after the Ramadan high has passed. The instability of the 'high' is a characteristic of life. And that lesson is one even Abu Bakr (RA) had to learn.

One day Abu Bakr (RA) and Hamzah (RA) came to the Prophet (SAW) and said: "Hanzala is a hypocrite, Messenger of Allah! The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'Why is that?' I said, 'Messenger of Allah, when we are with you, you remind us of the Garden and Fire and it is as if we could see them with our eyes. When we leave your presence, we attend to our wives, children and estates in a state of great heedlessness.' The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "By the One in whose hand my soul is, if you were to remain in the state you are in when you are in my presence and in the dhikr (remembrance), the angels would shake hands with you on your bed and in the street, but, Hanzala, different times are not the same.' three times." [Muslim]

After the Spiritual High Has Passed:

The most important part of this journey is never giving up! Know that you don't feel the same zeal, not because you have failed at something. The dip that follows the high is a natural part of the path! Just as the Prophet (SAW) explained to Abu Bakr (RA), these ups and downs are part of the path. And had we always remained in the high, we wouldn't be human. We'd be angels! The determining aspect of success is not so much what we do when we're up. The question is what we do when were down---when we're not feeling it. The key to succeeding on this path is that once you do reach your 'low', you keep going, knowing that it's normal.

Shaytan's Traps:

Remember Shaytan will get at you in different ways depending you your state.

When You're High- When you're high, he'll try to get you by making you arrogant. He'll try to get you by making you look down on others. He'll try to get you eventually by being so pleased with yourself that you don't think you need to keep striving because you are already so great (and better than others around you). He will consistently make you look at those who appear to do less than you, to justify your own shortcomings. For example, if you don't wear hijab, he'll make you think, "There are hijabis that do x, y, z bad things! At least I don't do those things! I do x, y, z good things that hijabis don't do!" Or if you slacken in prayer, you may think, "At least I'm not clubbing or drinking like so and so." Remember, Allah isn't grading on a curve. It makes no difference what others are doing. We all stand alone on the Day of Judgement. And this is just a tool of Shaytan to make us stop striving.

When You're Low- But when you're low, shaytan will try to get at you differently; he'll try to get you by making you hopeless. He'll try to make you believe that you're worthless and that there's no point in trying. He'll try to make you make you are a failure and no matter what you do, you'll never get back to where you once were! Or he may try to make you believe that you're too 'bad' for Allah to forgive you. As a result, you may let yourself fall further. You may have been up once, and then felt so bad about yourself because you started to slacken in your worship. And maybe because of your previous self-righteousness you didn't give people permission to make mistakes or be weak. This ends up becoming self-destructive because it further translates to not giving yourself 'permission' to make mistakes and be weak.

Since you believe you don't have permission to be human and fallible, when you do make a mistake, you are so hard on yourself that you lose hope. So you let yourself go. You may end up committing more sins, which only makes your hopeless worse! And it becomes a self-perpetuating vicious cycle. Shaytan will also try to make you believe that you shouldn't try to repent or pray because you'd be a hypocrite since you are such a 'bad' person. He wants you to despair in the mercy of Allah. That's what he wants! These are all lies, of course. But, he's good at what he does, after all. When you have sinned, that's when you need to turn to Allah even more---not less!

To protect yourself from this downward spiral, remember that the lows are part of the path. Remember that 'futoor' (the dip) is part of being human. Once you realize that this does not mean you failed or that you are a hypocrite (like Abu Bakr (RA) thought), you can keep from giving up once you get there. The key is to develop certain habits which become your 'bare minimum'. That means no matter how you feel, how unmotivated, how low, you still do these things at the very least. You realize that when you're at your low, it's going to be harder, but you struggle to keep doing them. For example, the bare minimum is the 5 daily prayers at their appointed times. This should *never* be compromised no matter *how much* you're 'not feeling it'. They should be considered like breathing air. Imagine what would happen if every time you were exhausted or in a bad mood you decided not to breathe!

It is preferred to have other rituals that are part of the 'bare minimum'. For example, stick to certain extra prayers or athkar or daily Quran---even if it's little. Remember that Allah loves a small consistent action more than a huge inconsistent one. If you hold onto certain essentials during you 'low', you will ride the wave of iman and come back up, insha Allah. And, God willing, when you do go back up, you'll be at a higher place than your last 'high'.

Know that the path to Allah is not a flat one. Your iman (faith) will go up and down. Your ability to worship will go up and down. But know that for every dip, there is also a rise. Just stay patient, stay consistent, don't lose hope and seek help in Allah. The path is hard. The path will have bumps and drops. But, like all things in this life, this path will come to an end. And that end will make it all worth it!

Allah says:

'Oh mankind, indeed you are ever toiling towards your lord, painfully toiling... But you shall meet Him.' (Qur'an, 84:6)    

N / F : FROM 'RECLAIM YOUR HEART', BY YASMIN MOGAHED.   

RABIATUL ADAWIYAH [ BAB 24 - PENJERNIHAN ]

PENJERNIHAN

"Dengan izin Allah, kali ini Rabiah pasti terbuka hati bagi menerima saya sebagai suaminya," getus hati Abdul Wahid.

     Selang beberapa hari selepas dia menghantar anak muridnya Abdullah bagi melamar Rabiah gagal, Abdul Wahid bertekad mahu berdepan sendiri dengan wanita sufi itu.

     "Apakah guru yakin?" soal Abdullah, masih dengan keraguan dan kurang keyakinan.

     "Dengan izin Allah, apa yang mustahil? Namun, sekiranya ia terjadi tidak seperti yang kita mahukan, sewajarnya kita reda," jawab Abdul Wahid.

    "Usaha yang patut diutamakan. Adakah kenyataan saya benar?" soal Abdullah pula.

     "Benar, Nabi Muhammad seorang nabi yang mustajab doanya, raja segala wali Allah malah adalah orang yang paling dekat dengan Allah. Tetap dituntut padanya usaha yang gigih dalam menyampaikan dakwah Islam kepada manusia pada zamannya." Abdul Wahid menerangkan.

     "Sekiranya begitu kata guru, saya doakan semoga guru berjaya. Semoga Allah merahmati kita," kata Abdullah kepada gurunya itu.

     Abdul Wahid bergerak menuju ke pondok Rabiah. Di dadanya penuh dengan keyakinan yang Rabiah pasti akur pada hujah-hujahnya nanti. Dia yakin yang Rabiah sudi menjadi isterinya.

     Rabiah yang ketika itu sedang melakukan ibadah sebagai rutinnya, dikejutkan dengan salam daripada seseorang. Rabiah keluar mendapatkan tetamunya.

     Sejurus melihat kelibat Rabiah, Abdul Wahid segera memberi salam dan membentangkan segala rencana yang sudah dipahat dalam mindanya dan ditetapkan dalam hatinya  itu, tanpa sempat Rabiah bersuara.

     "Wahai Rabiah yang mulia, saya tahu saudari juga faham maksud kedatangan saya. Ingin saya katakan yang perkahwinan ini bukan penghalang bagi kita beribadah kepada Allah. Bahkan inilah antara caranya orang seperti kita mendapat semangat dan motivasi supaya lebih kuat dalam munajat dan ibadah kita."

     Rabiah hanya membisu.

     "Percayalah wahai Rabiah, saya ikhlas mahu berkahwin dengan saudari kerana kita ini seluhur dan sejalan. Tiada bezanya antara kita, kita menuju ke jalan dan martabat yang sama. Apakah yang dirisaukan lagi, saya yakin inilah ketetapan Allah kepada kita.

     Melihat Rabiah hanya membatukan diri, Abdul Wahid meneruskan lagi.

     "Saudari bukan tidak kenal kepada Ahmad al-Hawari dan isterinya juga pasangan Ma'azah al-Adawi dan suaminya. Mereka yang akan kita contohi. Tidak pula saya dengar ibadah mereka kepada Allah terganggu dengan perkahwinan itu, bahkan saya melihat mereka semakin kuat beribadat kerana dorongan masing-masing. Saya yakin kita juga boleh begitu."

     Suasana hening. Abdul Wahid menarik nafas dalam, dia puas kerana dapat menghamburkan apa yang terbuku di sanubarinya. Terasa ringan badannya daripada beban-beban itu.

     Rabiah masih diam tanpa reaksi, kepalanya tertunduk. Abdul Wahid menjangkakan yang Rabiah malu dan sedang menyusun kata bagi mengatakan 'ya' kepadanya.

     Rabiah mengangkat mukanya. Abdul Wahid terperanjat kerana melihat biji mata dan kawasan di sekelilingnya merah menyala, seperti saga cahayanya.

     Rabiah kemudiannya bertempik sekuat-kuat hatinya, "Wahai lelaki yang jalang! Nafsumu begitu liar sekali! Adalah baik sekiranya kamu dapatkan perempuan lain bagi melampiaskan nafsu dan syahwat butamu itu! Adakah kamu rasa saya ini sanggup dijadikan alat pemuas nafsumu?"

     Rabiah pun berlalu pergi dengan perasaan geram dan marah. Abdul Wahid ditinggalkan begitu sahaja.

     Abdul Wahid terpana dan badannya menggigil. Dia tidak berani mengangkat mukanya. Dia keliru dan perasaan menyesal menguasai diri. Rasa geram juga menjengah, bercampur baur.

     Tidak lama kemudian, dia pun keluar dari rumah Rabiah. Sepanjang jalan hatinya bergelora, pandangannya kabut, dan mindanya kusut.

     "Mengapa? Mengapa Rabiah boleh berkata begitu? Apakah benar katanya? Adakah aku ini lelaki jalang?" Macam-macam persoalan menjengah kotak mindanya.

     Melihat gurunya yang bermuram durja, Abdullah tahu ini bukan masa yang sesuai mahu ditanya. Kemudian dia terdengar gurunya itu memanggil, "Abdullah, mari ke sini. Ada hal yang saya mahu bicarakan."

     Abdullah segera merapati gurunya.

     "Abdullah, tahukah kamu apa yang berlaku?"

     Abdullah hanya mendiamkan diri. Dia tidak mahu menjawab walaupun mahu sahaja dia mengatakan yang bukankah dia pernah menasihati gurunya supaya jangan diteruskan niat itu.

     "Mengapa kamu tidak menjawab?" Abdul Wahid masih memejam mata dan dirinya disandarkan ke dinding madrasah.

     "Khabarkan sahaja guru, saya sudi mendengarnya." Abdullah cuba memendekkan persoalan.

     "Rabiah mengatakan yang guru ini seorang lelaki jalang. Dia juga mengatakan yang dia tidak bersedia dijadikan tempat melepaskan nafsu. Apakah maksudnya?"

     Abdullah hanya mampu menggeleng kepala.

     "Apakah salah niat guru mahu berkahwin dengannya? Bukankah sebelum ini dengan izin Allah, keseronokan dunia lain dapat guru hindarkan. Perkahwinan itu adalah suruhan agama dan sunah Rasulullah. Mengapakah dia tidak mengerti?"

     "Pada pendapat saya, niat guru mahu berkahwin tidak salah. Yang salahnya adalah wanita pilihan guru itu."

     "Maksudmu?"

     "Saya rasa masalah ini tidak timbul sekiranya perempuan yang guru mahu nikahi itu bukan Rabiah. Rabiah itu rasa cinta dan rindunya kepada Allah beratus kali ganda lebih hebat daripada kita."

     "Bukannya kita ini bukan daripada kelompok yang sama?"

     "Benar guru, namun saya rasa Rabiah berfikir masa yang perlu bagi melayani suami hanya membuang masa kerana dia mahu memanfaatkan setiap detik hanya untuk kekasihnya yang hakiki."

     "Itu bukan suruhan agama."

     "Seharusnya kita menghormati prinsip Rabiah kerana hanya Allah dan dirinya yang lebih mengetahui hakikat itu."

    Abdul Wahid kemudian ditenangkan oleh muridnya, kemudian baru dia menyedari yang keinginan mahu berkahwin dengan Rabiah bukan kerana Allah semata-mata. Sudah timbul niat-niat halus lain sekaligus menyebabkan Allah segera memberi peringatan kepadanya.

     Mungkin sahaja sekiranya Allah temukan jodoh mereka, Abdul Wahid menjadi riak kerana memiliki Rabiah. Mungkin juga sifat kagum pada diri sendiri mengakar lalu menyebabkan dia terjerumus ke lembah yang hina. Kini dia reda dan kembali kepada Allah.

     Orang ramai di Basrah semakin galak membicarakan perihal terbaru itu.

     "Rabiah itu, selepas pinangan sultan ditolaknya mentah-mentah, pinangan guru kita Abdul Wahid juga tidak diterima."

     Kawannya yang seorang lagi segera menambah, "Rabiah itu wajar dimuliakan kerana cintanya hanya kepada Allah."

     Ada pula yang mengiakan, "Tidak wajar sekiranya kita masih meragui keikhlasannya dalam mendatangkan diri pada lingkungan cinta yang hakiki."

     "Dahulu pernah orang berkata yang Rabiah menolak pinangan orang kebanyakan kerana menanti yang hartawan. Ternyata tidak benar dakwaan itu kerana pinangan sultan pun dia tolak."

     "Ada pula yang mendakwa, mungkin dia menunggu golongan cendiakawan, orang soleh, zuhud dan alim yang dikatakan setaraf dengan makamnya. Ternyata Abdul Wahid yang selalu sahaja bersamanya dalam majlis-majlis zikir, majlis ilmu malah tidak kurang hebat amal ibadatnya itu juga, Rabiah tolak hasratnya."

     Kini penduduk Basrah semakin yakin dan menghormati Rabiah kerana prinsipnya itu. Walaupun pandangan mata kasar menampakkan dirinya melakukan perkara yang bercanggah dengan syariat Islam namun... hanya Rabiah dan Kekasih tautan hatinya sahaja yang mampu menjawab dan menghurai persoalan batiniah itu.

N / F : DIPETIK DARIPADA BUKU SRIKANDI SRIKANDI YANG BENAR,  OLEH ZAHIRUDDIN ZABIDI.

FACEBOOK: THE HIDDEN DANGER [ RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CREATOR ]

FACEBOOK: THE HIDDEN DANGER

We live in an iWorld. Surrounded by iPhones, iPads, MYspace, YOUtube, the focus is clear: Me, my, I. One need not look far to see this obsession with the self. In order to sell, advertisers must appeal to the ego. For example, many ads appeal to the part of us that loves power and being in charge. DirectTV tells you: "Don't watch TV, direct TV!" Yogurtland says: "You rule! Welcome to the land of endless yogurt possibilities, where you rule the portions, the choices and the scene."

But advertisers aren't the only ones who appeal to our ego. There is a global phenomenon that provides a breeding ground and platform for that ego. And it's called Facebook. Now, I'll be the first to assert that Facebook can be a powerful tool for good. It is, like many other things, what you make of it. A knife can be used to cut food which feeds the hungry, or it can be used to kill someone. Facebook can be used for great good---after all it was Facebook that helped facilitate the toppling of a dictator. Facebook can be used as a powerful tool to organize, call, remind, and unite. Facebook can also be used to strengthen our connection to God and to each other... Or Facebook can be used to strengthen the hold of our nafs (lower self or ego).

The Facebook phenomenon is an interesting one. In each and every one of us is an ego. It is the part of ourselves that must be suppressed (if we are to avoid Anakin's fate of turning to the dark side, that is). The danger of feeding the ego is that, as the ego is fed, it becomes strong. When it becomes strong, it begins to rule us. Soon we are no longer slaves to ourselves.

The ego is the part of us that loves power. It is the part that loves to be seen, recognized, praised, and adored. Facebook provides a powerful platform for this. It provides a platform by which every word, picture, or thought I have can be seen, praised, and 'liked'. As a result, I begin to seek this. But then it doesn't just stay in the cyber world. I begin even to live my life with this visibility in mind. Suddenly, I live every experience, every photo, every thoughts, as if it's being watched, because in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "I'll put in on Facebook". This creates a very interesting state of being, almost a constant sense that I am living my life on display. I become ever conscious of being watched, because everything can be put up on Facebook for others to see and comment on.

More importantly, it creates a false sense of self-importance, where every insignificant move I make is of international importance. Soon I become the focus, the one on display. The message is, I am so important. My life is so important. Every move I make is so important. The result becomes an even stronger me-focused world, where I am at the center.

As it turns out, this result is diametrically opposed to the Reality of the existence. The goal of this life is to realize the Truth of God's greatness and my own insignificance and need before Him. The goal is to take myself out of the center and put Him there instead. But Facebook perpetuates the illusion of the exact opposite. It strengthen my belief that because of my own importance, every inconsequential move or thought should be on display. Suddenly what I ate for breakfast or bought at the grocery store is news, important enough to publish. When I put up a picture, I wait for compliments; I wait for acknowledgement and recognition. With the number of likes or comments, physical beauty becomes something that can now be qualified. When I put up a post, I wait for it to be 'liked'. And I am ever conscience of---and even compete in---the number of "friends" I have. (Friends, here, is in quotation marks because no one knows 80% of their "friends" on Facebook).

This preoccupation and rivalry to acquire more, is mentioned in the Quran. God says: 

"The mutual rivalry for piling up (for worldly things) has preoccupied you." (Qur'an, 102:1)

Whether that rivalry is in pilling up wealth, or friends and 'likes' on Facebook, the result us the same: We have become preoccupied by it.

Facebook also strengthens another dangerous focus: the focus on other people, what they're doing, what they like. What they think of me. Facebook feeds the preoccupation with others' assessment of me. Soon, I enter the orbit of the creation. Inside that orbit, my definitions, my pain, my happiness, my self-worth, my success and my failure is determined by the creation. When I live in that orbit, I rise and fall with the creation. When the people are happy with me, I'm up. When they're not, I fall. Where I stand is defined by people. I'm like a prisoner because I have given up the keys to my happiness, sadness, fulfillment, and disappointment to the people to hold.

Once I enter and live in the orbit of the creation---rather than the orbit of God---I begin to use the currency. See, the currency of God's orbit is: His pleasure or His displeasure, His reward or His punishment. But, the currency of the orbit of creation is: the praise and criticism of people. So, as I enter deeper and deeper into that orbit, I covet more and more of its currency, and I fear more and more of its loss. While I'm playing Monopoly, for example, I covet more and more of its currency. And it feels great to be 'rich' for a moment. But when the game is over, what can I buy in the Real world with Monopoly money?

The human currency of praise is Monopoly money. It feels great for a moment to collect, but when the game is over, it's worthless. In the Reality of this life and the next, it's worthless. And yet, I even covet this false currency in my worship. In this way, I fall victim to the hidden shirk: Riyaa (showing off in worship). Riyaa is a consequence of living in the orbit of the creation. The deeper and deeper I enter into that orbit, the more I become consumed with gaining human praise, approval and recognition. The more I enter that orbit, the more I fear loss---loss of face, loss of status, loss of praise, loss of approval.

Yet the more I fear the people, the more I become enslaved. True freedom only comes when I let go the fear of anything and anyone other than God.

In a profound hadith (Prophetic teaching), a man came to the Prophet (SAW) and said: "O Messenger of God, direct me to an act, which if I do, God will love me and people love me." He (SAW) said: "Detach yourself from the world, and God will love you. Detach yourself from what is with the people, and the people will love you." [Ibn Majah]

Ironically, the less we chase after the approval and love of the people, the more we gain it. The less needy we are of others, the more people are drawn to us and seek our company. This hadith teaches us a profound Truth. Only by breaking out of the orbit of the creation, can we succeed with both God and people.  

So while Facebook is indeed a powerful tool, let it be a tool of your freedom---not a tool of your servitude to yourself and the assessment of others.

N / F : FROM 'RECLAIM YOUR HEART', BY YASMIN MOGAHED.  

RABIATUL ADAWIYAH [ BAB 23 - ABDUL WAHID ]

ABDUL WAHID

Dengan penolakan lamaran daripada Raja Basrah itu, ramai jejaka yang membatalkan hasrat mahu menyunting bunga di taman larangan itu.

     Mereka berkata, "Sekiranya lamaran sultan kita sendiri pun Rabiah tolak, apatah lagi dengan kita?"

     "Agaknya susuk yang bagaimanakah diidamkan Rabiah?"

     "Itu bukan soalnya."

     "Bukankah kita semua sudah sedia maklum yang Rabiah sudah bertekad tidak mahu berkahwin?"

     "Apakah dia itu bukan manusia? Mana mungkin seorang manusia itu bersikap seperti dirinya?"

     "Hanya Allah yang tahu. Sekiranya dikatakan makamnya lebih tinggi daripada malaikat, kita tidak perlu hairan. Dengan sifat zuhud, warak dan alimnya, ternyata tiada yang mustahil bagi dirinya."

     "Seandainya semua perempuan sebegitu, tanduslah dunia ini."

     "Mustahil kerana hanya ada seorang Rabiah yang bersifat sedemikian."

     "Ulama yang memulakan pemikiran begini adalah Hasan al-Basri?"

     "Benar, dia juga adalah guru dan teman seperjuangan Rabiah. Namun akhirnya dia yang banyak belajar daripada Rabiah."

     "Itu tidak menghairankan. Bahkan ulama-ulama sufi, fikah dan hadis juga senang ditunjuk ajar oleh Rabiah walaupun dulunya mereka itu adalah guru kepada Rabiah."

     "Maha suci Allah, ternyata benar Rabiah itu satu dalam sejuta."

     "Jadi bagaimana?"

     "Bagaimana apa?"

     "Masih ada keinginan kamu mahu melamar Rabiah?"

     Pemuda itu hanya tersenyum pahit kepada sahabatnya itu. Bagaikan menunggu kucing bertanduk, itulah perumpamaan yang sesuai bagi mereka yang mahu melamar dan menjadikan Rabiah sebagai isteri mereka.

     Pada masa yang sama, lain pula ceritanya yang berlaku kepada seorang ulama besar Basrah yang juga rakan seperjuangan Rabiah. Ulama itu sangat disegani di Basrah. Dia bernama Abdul Wahid bin Zaid.

     Apabila mengetahui Rabiah menolak lamaran Sultan Muhammad bin Sulaiman al-Hasyimi, Abdul Wahid segera mengatur rencananya.

     "Alhamdulillah, nampaknya Allah memang memihak kepada saya. Saya mesti bertindak segera bagi meminang Rabiah. Demi Allah dia adalah rahmat Allah yang paling besar dalam hidupku sekiranya ditakdirkan kami bernikah."

     Abdul Wahid kemudiannya meminta anak muridnya supaya ke pondok Rabiah dan menyampaikan hajatnya. "Wahai Abdullah, guru mempunyai hajat yang memerlukan pertolonganmu. Apakah kamu sudi menolong?"

     Abdullah dengan tenang menjawab, "Khabarkan guruku kerana menjadi kegembiraan saya dapat berkhidmat kepada guru."

     "Guru berhajat membina keluarga berasaskan ketakwaan seperti yang dilakukan oleh pasangan sufi yang abid lagi zuhud iaitu Ahmad al-Hawari dan isterinya, juga pasangan Ma'azah al-Adawi dan suaminya."

     "Maksudnya guru mahu bernikah?"

     "Benar, Abdullah."

     "Tetapi siapakah calonnya?"

     "Itu yang menjadi kerisauan dalam hati saya."

     "Mengapa?"

     "Calonnya memang ada, namun wanita ini sangat lain daripada yang lain. Dia manusia terpilih. Saya sebenarnya sudah lama memendam hajat ini."

     "Begitu juga guru, saya yakin guru dan wanita itu secocok."

     "Sebab itulah saya perlukan bantuanmu bagi menyampaikan maksud ini."

     "Baiklah, saya segerakan hajat guru itu. Dengan izin Allah dan berkat ilmu serta amal guru, saya doakan semoga Allah mempermudahkannya."

     "Amin... insya-Allah."

     "Guru malu mahu berdepan dengan wanita itu."

     "Sekiranya begitu, ke mana perlu saya tuju bagi melaksanakan tugasan ini?"

     "Pergilah kamu ke pondok di hujung Basrah ini kerana perempuan itu berada di sana."

     "Abdullah tiba-tiba teringat sesuatu, hatinya berdebar-debar. Dia sudah dapat membaca maksud gurunya, malah orang yang dimaksudkan oleh gurunya itu juga amat dia kenali. Dadanya tiba-tiba bergolak hebat, namun dia sembunyikan perasaannya kerana itu adalah hasrat gurunya dan menjadi kewajipan dia sebagai murid bagi menunaikan permintaan gurunya.

     Abdullah melangkah ke rumah yang dimaksudkan oleh gurunya dengan ragu dan tidak putus-putus berdoa.

     "Saya pasti dimarahi oleh Rabiah kerana datang membawa perkhabaran berkenaan perkahwinan, sedangkan Rabiah sendiri memang tidak mahu berkahwin."

     Abdullah terus mengelamun sambil tangannya tidak henti-henti memutar tasbih di tangan kanannya. Putaran tasbih itu laju tidak sekata menggambarkan keresahan hatinya.

     "Namun ini adalah hasrat guru, seharusnya saya laksanakan jua Ya Allah permudahkan urusan ini. Sesungguhnya saya tidak punya apa-apa selain bergantung pada-Mu."

     Dalam tidak Abdullah sedari, dia kini terpacak di hadapan pondok Rabiah. Ada getar di hatinya. Masih cuba dia melawan dengan zikir-zikir, namun kurang berkesan.

     Tiba-tiba Abdah bin Abi Syawal keluar kerana dia perasan ada orang sedang terpacak di luar rumah gurunya.

     Dia menyapa, "Wahai tuan yang mulia, bukankah tuan murid kepada Tuan Guru Abdul Wahid bin Said?"

     "Benar," jawab Abdullah ringkas.

     "Apakah hajat tuan?"

     "Ada pesanan daripada guru saya untuk guru kamu."

     "Sekiranya begitu, sila masuk ke dalam sementara saya mendapatkan guru saya."

     Peluh dingin mula membasahi tubuh Abdullah.

     Rabiah kemudiannya keluar dengan ramah dan berkata, "Selamat datang wahai Abdullah, murid teman seperjuangan saya Abdul Wahid bin Said."

     "Terima kasih, guru."

     "Apakah hajat guru kamu menghantar kamu ke mari?"

     Lama Abdullah diam, dia tidak berani bersuara. Empat butir mata memandang tepat ke arahnya. Selepas mengumpul tenaga, dia bersuara perlahan. "Guru saya menghantar saya dengan izin Allah bagi menyampaikan hajatnya mahu menyunting guru sebagai isterinya."

     Dengan senafas sahaja dia menghabiskan kalimah itu. Memang Allah permudahkan bicaranya, namun bukan urusan itu sepenuhnya. Abdullah menunduk tanpa berani mendepani kedua-dua wanita abid di hadapannya itu.

     Seketika kemudian, Abdullah terdengar Rabiah menarik nafas. Panjang dan dalam nafasnya seakan-akan menahan amarah.

     "Kembalilah kamu ke pangkuan guru kamu Abdul Wahid, dan sampaikan pesan yang mulai hari ini saya tidak mahu lagi berjumpa dengannya."

     Sejurus habis kata-kata itu, Abdullah segera meminta diri. Dalam perjalanan pulang dia hanya berdiam diri. Hanya mulutnya berkumat-kamit mengalunkan zikir kepada Allah.

     Abdullah menyampaikan apa yang dikatakan oleh Rabiah kepada gurunya. Abdul Wahid sedikit terkilan.

     "Rabiah, apakah saudari malu dan mahu saya sendiri yang menyuarakan hasrat itu?"

     Namun dia tetap berfikiran positif supaya nanti tidak kecewa. "Baiklah, saya berjumpa dengannya sendiri."

     "Tetapi guru...."

     "Mengapa Abdullah?"

     "Pada pendapat saya, usah guru melamar Rabiah. Saya hanya risau hubungan baik guru dengannya renggang kerana dia kelihatan tidak mahu berkahwin sampai bila-bila."

     Abdul Wahid terdiam.

     "Tidak salah mencuba, kali ini saya bersedia dengan hujah-hujah yang lebih rapi. Semoga Allah mempermudahkan urusan ini."

     Abdullah masih tidak menyetujui hasrat gurunya itu, tetapi dia tidak mahu dianggap melawan cakap gurunya apatah lagi itu adalah hal peribadi gurunya.

     "Dengan izin Allah, Rabiah faham yang perkahwinan bukanlah penghalang bagi seseorang itu terus beribadah kepada Allah. Malah ia adalah sumber dorongan dan nyalaan obor kepada usaha yang lebih gigih kerana buktinya sudah ada."

     Abdul Wahid sekali lagi merujuk pada Ahmad al-Hawari dan isterinya serta Ma'azah al-Adawi dan suaminya.

     "Apakah guru sudah mendapatkan nasihat mereka?"

     "Ya, malah mereka juga sudah belajar bagaimana caranya mahu menguruskan hidup rumah tangga tanpa mengabaikan ibadah-ibadah rutin kami."

     Di pihak Rabiah tentunya lain keadaannya. Dia bermonolog, "Tidak disangka Abdul Wahid juga termasuk daripada mereka yang bernafsu mahu menikah."

     Rabiah seakan-akan tidak percaya yang sahabatnya itu sanggup melamar dirinya bagi dijadikan isteri.

     "Mungkin dia mempunyai sebab tertentu." Abdah cuba menenangkan jiwa gurunya yang sedang bergelojak itu.

     "Sekiranya begitu, saya juga mempunyai sebab yang tersendiri," jawab Rabiah pula.

N / F : DIPETIK DARIPADA BUKU SRIKANDI SRIKANDI YANG BENAR, OLEH ZAHIRUDDIN ZABIDI.